Friends.

I lurk on a lot of BL blogs, and there seems to be common feelings of disconnect from old friends - that many of us have friends that don't really know how to handle our grief, and then just give us some more space.

Any of you feel like you've actually cut people off?

I feel I have.  It's hard for me to return calls to a lot of people.  There's a specific group of our friends - a bunch of guys that I've been friends with for over ten years - that I really have removed myself from.  Why?  I don't exactly know.  One of them had a baby this past summer, so that doesn't help.  But I just sort of cut myself off.

We usually get together with these guys over the holidays, and I'm dreading the email.  Maybe it will never come.  That's a distinct possibility.

And then I got a Facebook message from a girl I went to grad school with - we haven't really kept in touch.  But she sent me a note saying she'd been praying for me all year and knew that this would be a tough week and that I was in her thoughts, which was really sweet.  I had just mentioned to J a few days ago that I wondered how many of our friends would remember, if any would call, or send us a note, or something.  So that made me teary and grateful all at the same time.

I am so glad this is a short week, and I am SO GLAD we are both off on Wednesday.  It's going to be hard.